She starts with dismantling myths, breaks down all kinds of terms, roles, and principles, explores dominance, submission, and role play, and then talks about all kinds of sensation play, bondage, impact play, and rough sex. It’s aimed for folks who have read Fifty Shades of Grey and who want to understand kink better, to figure out what they’re into and start playing. Lately, she has a podcast, Sex Out Loud, which covers a broad range of sexuality topics.ĥ0 Shades of Kink is an excellent primer for all things BDSM. She’s a queer femme femininst, devoted to women’s perspectives and centering women’s sexual pleasure in her porn and her writing and exploring. Tristan has been writing and educating about sex and BDSM for a long time - she used to write a column in the Village Voice in the 90s and 00s that I read religiously, and she originated the Best Lesbian Erotica series in 1996. Most are very specific kink topics - books about flogging or fisting - so they aren’t general overview, but if you see titles that pique your interest, they are run by kinky people and they have excellent kink theorists and educators as their authors. See also: pretty much all the other books by Greenery Press. It’s such a good primer for anybody new to kink, or anybody who feels like there are kink protocols or conventions that you might not know about or understand. It will give you an excellent overview of consent and negotiation, as well as many of the basic concepts for different kinds of kinks, different ways to explore, and things that are unique to the kink community. This book is essential reading to someone new to the communities of kink, leather, and BDSM. Playing Well With Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Navigating and Exploring the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities, by Mollena Williams-Haas & Lee Harrington If you still want more, I put together an Amazon list which has many more books in some of those related-but-not-exactly-kink topics that I’d also recommend. So I’m narrowing it down and focusing on more general kink community, culture, concepts, and getting started with kink play. Then, all of that opens the doors for topics like open relationships, healing sexual trauma or trauma in general, porn, the ethics of desire and fantasy, embodiment, sexual orientation, gender identity, and more. How about books on power dynamic relationships? That’s a whole other list! Generally, people tend to include all kinds of how-to sex books in beginning guides, too - particular topics like anal sex, threesomes, and strap-ons that are sometimes considered kinky, but sometimes not, depending. Are you looking for books about bondage? There are dozens! Or books about the intersection of sex and spirituality? Quite a few there too. There are a lot of sub-categories within kink, BDSM, and fetish. Mainly tips and introduction writing that you trust.” “Do you have specific resources that you would recommend for me to share with someone who is new to the kink scene? Books, and also digital resources.
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